AND WE ARE BACK!

Good morning all! I am happy to announce that the Bearded Devil and I are back from our extended blogging vacation (ie. The off-season). That isn't to say that we haven't been watching mountains of football (and diving, and gymnastics, and fencing, and cycling, the olympics really added some variety to our sports watching routine). This summer was FULL of it. MLS games live and on television (lots of DC United and Portland Timbers....poor poor Timbers), THE EUROS (Germany was ousted in quite the upset but it was all ok in the end because in the LAST GAME I pulled ahead and beat the Bearded Devil in our fantasy league!), and of course the Olympics which end today where we cheered for the US Women's team to take the gold and looked on in surprise as Brazil took the silver to Mexico on the men's side.

We are VERY excited for the Premier League to start back up next Saturday with our boys meeting up with Everton Monday the 20th. Here are some thing we are looking forward to:

Faces we are excited to see:

1. VIDIC IS BACK, Seriously I'm pretty excited about this he is GIANT, he's Serbian, he's bad ass.
2. Shinji Kagawa, he's the first Japanese player on the team and he played well in the Bundesliga so it will be good to see how he fits in.
3. Phil's Tips....seriously Phil, we miss the frosted tips, lets get those back eh? Here lets make a deal, I will make you cookies if you dye your hair...deal? Deal. 
4. NECKBEARD D'ESPAGNA, you have NO clue how much I missed my Neckbeardy Spaniard
5. HOT COACH, oh hot coach, I don't care who you coach...Chelsea, Tottenham, or whether they win or lose (honestly, when you are coaching I hate to say it I hope they lose....its all about my boys you know) but I'm just happy to see you I mean....really...

Even looking quizzical this man is handsome

Faces we will miss:

1. Ji-Sung Park, I can't believe he is going to QPR, but my love for him DOES give me a reason to cheer for QPR and perhaps have some fun argy bargy with the Bearded Devil's brother who thinks QPR is quite literally the devil!
2. Michael Owen, I knew it couldn't last forever but I mean...look at this face...who wouldn't miss this face 

Preparing to ride off into the sunset?

 Faces we will probably miss but aren't sure they are leaving yet:

This is where I will again bemoan the potential loss of Bleh.....I just....I can't I just can't handle it my dearest Bleh I will cheer for you wherever you go forever and always, now that's football commitment. Just don't pull a Tevez on me, I used to cheer for Tevez too, and I swore I always would...until he turned into a giant sniveling brat at Man City and now I look at him with a tinge of sadness, betrayal, and regret...just don't do that to me Bleh, my heart can't take it. 

Season Predictions:

Overall I think we have a great line up, Wayne Rooney looks good as always and I think this will be one of the last seasons we will have with Giggs (oh Giggsy, you fox you), and Ferdinand, and Scholes, and....I hate to say it and it pains me to say it.....so I'll put it in smaller type Fergie all together so I'm excited to see what we will do. We have a lot of young talent and I think we can go places as long as we are consistent game after game and we don't get ahead of ourselves with the easier teams (talk to the bearded Devil about the Everton game at the end of last season, he is STILL angry about that loss and its implications). We were so close to first in the league last season and I think we can do it this season if we really try. (Queue "Chariots of Fire" music, oh hell, here is Mr. Bean playing it at the opening ceremony for the Olympics. Enjoy!) 

We will see you for a Game Day Post on Monday the 20th! In the meantime enjoy the FA Community Shield and the Closing Ceremonies!

Please Fergie say it isn't so!

So today I come home from work (best walk home ever, in the 80s in March....happy days) to the Bearded Devil and he is, as usual, looking at The Sun's football page. He gave me a grim look and turned the computer in my direction and I saw what I have been fearing for some time now

Alex Ferguson Prepared To Let Berba Leave

......Bleh.....could be leaving Man Utd....I frankly don't know what I'll do, I have been rooting for him for so long....he really did so well last season and I thought he'd be pulled back up in to the starting line up. And honestly I'm really, truly pleased that their bench is so deep that the top scorer last season is sitting out game after game, it says a lot about the team Sir Alex has built and I'm excited about where the boys could go in both the Premier and Champions League. And I think Bleh has a lot to offer and I hope if he does leave he is able to go somewhere where they can really use his skill. But it just....it just won't be the same without Bleh.

Don't let go Jack, Never let go!!

Game Day: Man Utd. vs. West Brom

Hi everyone, its been a while since our last post. We have been rethinking the way the blog will be laid out. It makes little sense to do a play by play since I have no option to enter it as a live stream during the game. So we are thinking that we will stick to my awkward profiles and our half time pie round up and our full game round up? So bly!

Half Time Pie Round-up

Today's match has been so far fairly uneventful if you don't don't count Phil "Just the Tip" Jones spilling over the barriers on the sidelines after attempting to get a header on goal. He took a couple seconds to get up and looked fairly embarrassed upon emerging. Its ok Phil we've all been there. Me particularly, I can't tell you the number of times I've run headlong into door frames, desk corners, weight benches....for 10 years of ballet I'm a serious mess so I feel you.

There was also some adorable footwork by my man Ashley Young. He had several good little runs to try and get open to get a shot off in West Brom-land and and when the defender finally got tired of it and beaned the ball into the crowd he fell backwards on top of Young. It hasn't been a great day for balance for sure.

There was a gorgeous goal pushed through by Chicharito and Pugs, absolutely stellar and well worth watching the highlight. And speaking of gorgeous I just have to lament the firing of Hot Coach last week. I knew it was coming but it still hurts. What will I stare at now every weekend when Chelsea is on the field? Certainly not at the actual game, I mean who wants to watch Chelsea? Hot coach made Chelsea games bearable, even enjoyable. And now....darkness and gloom in the eye candy department. In his favor though he has an INCREDIBLY attractive wife to go home to.

I mean, this has got to count as a win.

Full Time Round Up

So it has come to my attention that Pugs McPlugsy's Plugs are starting to look good! The Bearded Devil and I were admiring his less...wonky look and realized it looks like they are GROWING. And then we wondered if hair plugs could grow which led to a google search which led to this article (http://www.infobarrel.com/Do_Hair_Implants_Grow_After_Surgery) which gave us the answer that YES, yes they do. So I'd like to officially apologize to Mr. Pugs for doubting his judgement in the hair care department.

Its practically blowing in the wind!!

The second half had some great chances, that try by Chicharito that went off the goal post was heart stopping, we thought it would go in for sure. But once they sent off Olsson for what I frankly thought was a silly tackle, come on it wasn't that bad and they are already probably going to lose so just give him a harsh talking to, tell him he's on thin ice and to shape up and move on, the game was pretty one sided. I was hoping they would rack up the score to even up the goal differential with Man City but c'est la vie as Arsene Wenger says every single time he wonders why he's not as bad ass as Fergie. 

One other thing, this week Neckbeard D'Espagna announced that he would not be shaving until Man Utd wins the Premier League...and I'm just imagining how intense the neck beard will get, will he let it grow over his chin like a regular beard? Will it still just grow under his neck like a scratchy neck warmer? Is he like Sampson and all of his sweet keeper power is derived from his neck beard? These are all legitimate questions. Also I still cannot get over the quote about how the neck beard brings pleasure to both him and his girlfriend. I need to meet this woman. Also is her name Delilah? Cause if it is...WATCH OUT NECKBEARD, SHE WANTS TO CUT IT OFF AND RENDER YOU POWERLESS

Anyway, Man Utd. won 2-0 and joy of joys Man City lost to Swansea BAHAHAHA, losers....stupid Mancini and his silly scarves.

Soooo sad

Enjoy your Sunday everyone! Stay tuned for my Fergie profile this week!

Love always,

Gingers

Full-Time: United 2 - Ajax 0

By The Bearded Devil

Somewhat of a drab overall affair, with neither side seemingly willing to open up the throttle; but rather, content to remain on cruise control throughout. United stated their intentions quite clearly at the start of the second half, looking much more threatening and immediately cutting out several chances. Vermeer in the Ajax goal did well with several saves and had to be on his toes to deny Hernandez early on as he burst through the Ajax defense.

United’s pressure paid off when Ashley Young, recently returned from an injury layoff, stroked the ball into the net to make it 1-0. He was coolness personified as he received a deflected low cross from Nani, beat his defender and slotted the ball between the legs of Vermeer and past three Ajax defenders on the line to give United a deserved lead.

Having secured the goal, United were happy to sit back and absorb some pressure from the home side. However, Ajax, largely toothless in the attack rarely threatened De Gea’s goal and were forced to resort to taking pot shots from distance. The few times they did carve out a real opportunity, the chances were wasted either by poor decision-making or woeful finishing.

As they so often do, United scored on a lightning counter-attack, with Valencia muscling his way onto a poor touch from one of Ajex’s defenders before slipping the ball through to Hernandez who combined well with Rooney before slotting home United’s second on the night.

A good result for United as they bring a 2-0 lead back to Old Trafford without ever really having broken a sweat. 

The Bearded Devil: Time for a Half-Time Pie!

A tepid first half with both sides seemingly content to play relatively conservatively. Young and Nani showed a bit of rust as they both seemed a step off their usual pace. Overall, while United can be happy that it controlled the middle of the park, it lacked that incisive final ball and failed to create any real clear-cut opportunities.

On the defensive side, David De Gea continues to grow in confidence and pulled off a superb save from De Jong’s 30-yard piledriver. He still looks uncertain, however, in his decision making on high balls, and was caught several times relying on his defenders to clear balls he might have come out and claimed.

There is certainly room for improvement in the second half as United will look to turn their abundance of possession in midfield into scoring opportunities. Ajax has been playing with an invitingly high back line and will be vulnerable to quick through balls to onrushing attackers. Hernandez in particular thrives on playing off the shoulder of the last defender and was caught just a step offside several times in the first half. If he can get his timing right, United will punish Ajax.

Guest Post: The Bearded Devil: United Ready for Ajax

In their first foray into the Europa League, formerly the UEFA Cup, United face another storied side in European football, Ajax Amsterdam. Two of Europe’s most successful clubs, they have won a combined seven European Cups and have dominated their respective leagues. Most impressively, both sides have won the vaunted Treble, Ajax in 1972 and United more recently in 1999.

However, Ajax has not had much success in European football recently, with its last triumph coming in 1995. This year Ajax was bounced from the Champion’s League, only narrowly missing out on the knockout round due to goal difference. After regaining their league title last season Ajax currently sit in 6th place in the Dutch Eredivisie.

Sir Alex has said that he is not taking this competition lightly and will field his strongest side today. Indeed, this is the only trophy missing from his glittering resume and the players are eager to avenge their early exit from the Champion’s League.

Notable absentees are Giggs -who will have to wait to reach an astonishing 900 caps for United- and Berbatov, both players having picked up minor injuries this past week, and Evra who is being rested after an “emotional week” following the shameful Suarez handshake incident.

However, United have ready replacements as they welcome Jones, Smalling, Nani and Cleverly back from injury and draw from their pool of talented emerging youngsters.

Full Squad:
De Gea, Amos, Fryers, Rafael, Fabio, Jones, Evans, Ferdinand, Smalling, Young, Pogba,
Cleverly, Scholes, Carrick, Park, Valencia, Nani, Rooney, Welbeck, Hernandez.

Man Utd vs. Chelsea 2/5/2012

Well hello everybody and welcome to our Superbowl Sunday Game Day post!  So far we are just yelling at the pre game show.  I still don't understand why the hell Piers Morgan is allowed on the air period let alone allowed on fox soccer to discuss the premier league.  He ACTUALLY just made the assertion that our very own Neckbeard D'Espagna is the worst goal keeper in the league....based on what exactly.....he has had a few bad matches...as has every single goal keeper in the history in the sport but the WORST?!  And this coming from someone who can barely host a coherent interview on CNN.  The only reason he's there is because of his accent and that's just absurd and offensive to real football fans worldwide.

Wow...they just panned to Pugs McPlugsy...and he has a faux hawk?  To reference my previously posted video from Smithy.....SHORT BACK AND SIDES.  The Bearded Devil thinks that he is keeping to that because technically...the back and sides ARE short.  But come on Fergie those boy need to look clean and sharp.  We don't want any Torres' wandering around the field, headbands flying willy nilly.

And that brings me to HOT COACH.  Now I hate Chelsea.  I hate Chelsea SO MUCH.  But.....their coach is....well he's super hot.  I mean have you seen the man?

He's so put together, so chic.


And HOWARD WEBB IS ON THE FIELD.  The BALD AVENGER IS IN THE HOUSE and is making my whole day that much better and that much more shiny, and that more jacked.

6:45 Ummmm wow, that defensive move was pretty sketch.  When you are all in front of the goal keeping it in the air with headers Neckbeard should have grabbed that, it was a poor punch and I was a little afraid that we would give up a goal early

8:42 WOW Raul Meireles' hair is appalling I withdraw any complaint about Pugs McPlugsy

10:30 That tackle....Gary Cahill should have been sent off.  What the hell Bald Avenger, that was dicey and I'm a little....well frankly I'm a little upset I know its early in the match and he may not want to send someone off so early but he should have at least been given a yellow....and the camera on Fergie shows he is SUPREMELY pissed.  Oh Fergie, chaw away, chaw away your anger.

13:42 If I see one more Chelsea player go down grasping their various extremities and howling in pain I swear to god I'm sending lions on the field gladiator style to maul them.  I really TRULY hate when players do that, even when Man Utd players, its cheating, you slow down the game, and you lose your integrity as a player a little more every time you do it.

15:56 Damn, Valencia is FAST, that was impressive that he was able to get over to the middle to get his foot on the ball so fast.

22:31 Rafael looks SO HANDSOME with his hair cut.  I heartily approve.

30:30 Oh man poor Evans, just got a knee up the butt, he was only trying to protect his keeper, what a thing to get.  Not the most dignified shot though, him holding his rear end while writhing on the ground.

33:00 OH OFF THE FACE,  Evra just got a ball rocketed square in the jaw, that's got to sting a TON.  And while I feel awful for him, it DID give us a chance to get a close up of the Bald Avenger's GIGANTIC calves as he went over to see if he was ok.

Wow.....THAT'S HOW WE GIVE AWAY OUR FIRST GOAL.  That was embarrassing, deflected off of Evans arm.  I just.....god dammit.  Evra should never have let him get to the line in the first place.

36:40 Great save by Neckbeard, this is getting dicey though, I'm not a fan and I'm not pleased with our overall performance so far

38:09 God DAMMIT that was a beautiful cross over, Rooney could have just TAPPED THAT IN.  WE HAVE TO MAKE THE MOST OF THESE CHANCES

40:00 Welbeck has a GREAT shot, and Cech had a fabulous save.  Can't begrudge the guy who had a skull fracture.

Half Time: Time for a short commercial break and then its onto the Half Time Pie Round Up!  Hosted by The Bearded Devil:

Not a terrible half of football from United, however they have been somewhat wasteful in possession, particularly in the final third of the field. Carved out a few good chances and have been unlucky not to pull even before the break.


Speaking of luck, Gary Cahill can thank his lucky stars to still be on the pitch. Howard Webb missed one there, but in his defense, from his angle, it was a tough call. And no referee wants to send a player off 10 minutes into a game, particularly a game of this magnitude. Be that as it may, Cahill should have been sent to an early bath.


After a shaky initial start, De Gea has looked much more calm in goal, and cannot be faulted for the goal. Johnny Evans was unlucky as well. Evra should have done a better job cutting Sturridge off from reaching the touchline, especially as he had Carrick offering him immediate support. Other than that one half chance, which resulted in a bizarre own goal, Chelsea has offered very little going forward.


I'm sure Fergie is giving the lads one of his famous half-time talks and United will kick on after the break.


And thank the good lord, there is a Law and Order marathon on...so we don't have listen to Piers wax idiotic about the game.  


And we're back!

And....I'm already angry.  I am TRULY TRULY ANGRY

This is NOT THE WAY TO START THE SECOND HALF MOTHER OF GOD

I didn't want to have a stroke this early in the day, I truly didn't but it may happen.

Wow....I never thought I'd say this....but I might turn this off soon I am furious.  Absolutely furious...what are we doing, ANOTHER OWN GOAL this is an embarrassment.

PENALTYYYY Oh Wayne Rooney I forgive you all your indiscretions, hair and otherwise.  That was beautiful.  Now can we PLEASE DO SOMETHING HERE?!

I'm pleading here......THIS is me right now, do you WANT THIS TO BE ME?  Don't you love me boys?

And the Ginger Warrior comes storming on the Field, lets liven up the middle Mr. Scholes!

65:25 That shot never should have happened, I'm serious where did that space open up, thank god De Gea actually got his hands around that one

65:55 That shot could have been lovely....just a bit off, nice try Pugs but lets get it on goal next time we don't have time to waste right now

66:53 F ME a little lift on that and it would have been over him......*sigh* more chances please!

68:11 It was a soft penalty but from Webb's angle which they showed in the replay it didn't look like he tripped, it looked like he stuck his leg back to get him....from any other angle it wouldn't have been called but I won't complain...not after the Cahill debacle earlier

OH MY GOD CHICHATRITO.......YOU ARE SUCH A GOD DAMN STUD

OK 4 MINUTES....PLEASE PLEASE DON'T SCREW THIS UP

OMG NECKBEARD D'ESPAGNA YOU ARE A STUD, PIERS MORGAN THIS OFFICIALLY STARTS OUR BLOOD FEUD YOU CAN SUCK IT THAT WAS A STUNNING SAVE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE FOUND HIS POTATAS BRAVAS

And again, Neckbeard, gorgeous.....wow what a match I will take a draw after that horrible, horrible start......

Neckbeard and Pugs, the two men of the match for sure.  Lovely everyone just lovely....

Well, I have had my share of strokes for the day, thank goodness I don't care who wins the Superbowl tonight ;-)  Enjoy your pizza, nachos and beer everyone!  Till next time!

Guest Post from the Bearded Devil: Manchester United vs. Stoke City, January 31 2012

Today I had to be at work so you get the special treat of a guest post by my Die-Hard Bearded Goal Keeper who has requested that he be called the "Bearded Devil." I sort of like him, so I have allowed it. So here goes!

Reactions to the Stoke Match

-It was an assured if uninspired display from our side. To be perfectly honest, while we played well and strung some good stuff together, it seemed much more the case that Stoke just rolled over. I have to say, the one thing that one can expect from Tony Pulis’ sides is a battling mentality coupled with a tremendously high work rate and Spartan tactical style. None of these qualities, which typically make Stoke such a bogey team for the bigger clubs, were on display today.

-Scholes proved again that while he has lost whatever pace he once possessed (and let’s be honest, that was never much), he remains one of the world’s pre-eminent passing midfielders. There is the worry, however, now that he is 37, he is even more susceptible to lunging in with tackles to prevent speedier and more nimble players skipping past him and getting himself sent off.

-The back-line looked much more sure of itself with Rio back in the lineup. While he may not be the indomitable defender he was 3-4 years ago, his positional sense remains excellent and his ability to take command of the rearguard and instill calm and confidence in those around him was a quality very much absent in the erratic defensive display against Liverpool. With Vidic out for the rest of the season and the likes of Jones, Smalling and Evans still prone to youthful inconsistency, Rio will be vital in the title run-in. Hopefully he is able to stay fit.

-Antonio Valencia continues in his rich vein of form. He has been, by far, United’s best and most consistent player over the past month, and turned in another good shift today. His pace down the right side created real problems for Stoke today and was key to unlocking a packed Potters defense.

-Ben Amos did well in goal today, although had precious little to do. Stoke rarely threatened, but when they did, Amos was assured in his handling and decision-making. It is too bad that Neckbeard D’Espagna was out sick as this type of game would have helped him regain some confidence.

-Paul Pogba got a run in the side today and was unlucky not to score. He is a fantastic looking player.

-BLEH scored! I was sad to see that he did not celebrate by donning a cape and taking a chomp out of Sir Alex or something, but I suppose it is possible that he hasn’t got around to reading this blog yet… He’s probably a busy guy, but we will be expecting it in the next game!

-Finally, I am sorry to say, but I am significantly less awkward than my small and gingery counterpart. I will leave it to her to wax poetic about how sexy Ryan Giggs is (although, let’s be honest, pretty damn sexy., right?) and I will instead focus more on the football. Hope that’s ok!

As the Reds go marching on!

UPDATE:

Everton defeated Man City 1-0 to send United and City level on points at the top of the table. Former United midfielder Darron Gibson scored the games only goal! Even at Everton he’s still a Devil!

Dimitar Berbatov: BLEEEHH!

Today I am posting the first in a series called Player Profiles.  In this series I will discuss my affection for particular players (although if you are a Man Utd player...don't worry I don't have ANY favorites, I love you all equally) (for everyone else....I'm lying I totally have favorites) and the reasoning behind many of their nicknames.

I am starting with Dimitar Berbatov or as I like to call him BLEEHH!

So lets start by saying that I am Dimitar Berbatov's NUMBER ONE FAN.

I know what you are thinking..."But Gingers for Scholes he isn't the most dynamic player on the field, he doesn't seem to have the greatest attitude, he seems mopey to me, why don't you cheer for someone more exciting and bubbly like Chicharito?"

OK

1.) He is the first non-Englishman to score 5 goals in one game in the Premier League...that's bad ass

2.) He was the top scorer in the Premier League last season...I mean SERIOUSLY that is SO BAD ASS

3.) Maybe the reason he seems mopey and not very excited is because HE NEEDS A NUMBER ONE FAN.  I am simply providing him with the necessary tools to be a happier player.

4.) He kind of looks like Dracula...

Bleehh!!!  I vooonnn to suuuuck youur blloooooddd!!!

Bleeehhh!!! 

Now I have to say these days with the new hair cut, the scruff and the lack of a head band (dear God thank you for helping Bleh realize that that was a bad look) he's looking much more clean cut, less vampiric but still the idea is there.  I can hear you again, "Ginger (It's ok we know each other well enough now to call me by my first name) but why would you think that its a good thing that he looks like Dracula?"  Well everyone, because he is UPPING HIS PROFILE.  And anyone who has seen this:

will know that upping your profile is a HUGE DEAL.  

I want to see him (well we have to get him off the bench first! Fergie, I hope you are reading this part!) with a cape every time he scores so he can do a victory lap with the cape over his eyes and then in the stadium they will play..

as the in stadium announcer will say "VON, VONNN GOAL - AH, HA, HA," a la the Count.  I can see it now, all the players in the stands with their Man Utd jerseys on with their fake vampire teeth and their capes shouting BLLEEEHHH as he runs onto the pitch before the match.

I'm just saying.....its all gold....Berbatov....call me we can make this happen!

That's all for today, tomorrow the boys play Stoke City at 3:00PM.  I have to be at work so if he is available and willing you may get a guest Game Day post from my Die-Hard Man Utd Beard-y Goalkeeper! And if you are watching and Berbatov hits the field, make sure to cheer for Bleh!

Game Day Post: Man Utd. vs. Liverpool

Good morning everyone!  Sorry that was too loud for 7:30AM on a Saturday lets try that again in a more subdued fashion....Good morning everyone.  Today Manchester United takes on Liverpool.  I can't even describe to you the distain I have for liverpool.  So far the boys have only just arrived and they look damn smart in their suits and sweater vests.

Neck beard D'Espagna is back!  I have missed him and his sweet sweet Neck beard so much.

3:42 YESSS and Neck beard has his first save of the day.
4:15 Awww how cute they all think they are tough!  Lets not ruffle feathers so early!  Alllll right now time for the color to stop ragging on Neck beard, he tries his best
5:19 My first Fergie chaw shot of the day.  Oh Fergie you are my hero....
7:16 Valencia and Giggs with a solid chance......so jacked, so sexy
8:15 Stephen Gerrard is out in force with his awkward hairline
11:36 YES second Fergie chaw shot, this time with some grumbling
16:55 OMG SO CLOSE GOD DAMMIT VALENCIA YOU ARE SO JACKED
19:20 Paulie, don't foul him...don't foul him...don't foul him....
21:00.....DAMMIT....GOOOOOOODDDD DAMMIT
23:40 If that ball hadn't been tipped I think that could have been lovely
38:40 YES PARRRRKKKKKKKKK That was beautiful
41:07 You are wearing BLUE today boys BLUE.  Lets not forget that...no passing to Liverpool

TIME FOR MY HALF TIME PIE

And now is the time I just realized the bald avenger has been on the field this WHOLLLLEEE TIME

64:58 SERIOUSLY that close to the box.....you should be ashamed
66:03 Neck beard redeems himself from that earlier mess up
Wow

Just

Wow

I can't even deal with how mad I am at Patrice Evra right now.......

Also...hey Dave....Andy Carroll sucks

*sigh*

What an end...*sigh*

The end was just so sloppy, we couldn't find any solid chances and I'm very disappointed.  I hope Fergie hair dries them good.

Time to go mope my way through my Saturday.

Man Utd vs. Arsenal 1/22/12

So here is my first live game post.  I have already ruined the first half commentary because I was typing up my welcome post but the Bearded Keeper and I will try and fill in as much as we can while trying to ignore the idiocy of Piers Morgan blathering on during the half time show.  So a couple of things:

1. Seriously...PIERS MORGAN?  What is this Fox?  An ARSENAL fan?  Where's my Utd fan on the panel and who cares what that wanker thinks about anything anyways?!!!  And if I hear ONE MORE THING about Arsenal playing four center backs or the importance of stopping Pugs McPlugsy, I swear to god....
2. I can't get over the NFL music that fox is using....I keep getting confused as to what sport I am watching
3. God love Rio for starting the #tearsforpiers.  
4. Phil "Just The Tip" Jones went down with an early injury....what the hell.  Last thing we need.    I won't even go into how you should stretch properly before the match...its too easy.  Halftime reports say it is a twisted ankle.
5. Thumping finish by Valencia....damn that dude is jacked
6. Arsene Wenger is looking very dapper and "French" today.  Although I expect to see the familiar look of despair soon....oh there it is.... at 51 minutes and 17 seconds......head in the hands
7. Dammit can we get some real possession in the start of the second half?  I'm not a fan of giving Arsenal so many chances...even if they can't hit the mark
8. 56 minutes in.....lose your map of the pitch much?  Loved the camera panning over to Fergie just to catch him removing his glasses and muttering "Fuckin'ell." Also....caught a glimpse of the gum.....he's chewing white gum today.....I always pictured him to be a spearmint man....
9. 60 min camera pan to the bench...SCHOLSIE AND I ARE SITTING WATCHING THE GAME IN THE EXACT SAME WAY.  Holy shite I knew we were meant to be best ginger friends/drinking buddies.
10. F-me 62:30 where's the FINISH.  I know he was offsides but still.
11. 63:03 -Heart attack, arms waving and despairing moaning.
12. 66:16 - Yikes Wellbeck....through but no finish....
13. I'd just like to take a moment out of our regularly scheduled broadcast to thank Ryan Giggs for being so sexy.  That beard is really fantastic.  So rugged, so manly.
14. 70:01.......GOD DAMMIT SERIOUSLY BOYS WHAT IS THIS what are we DOING out there today.  Its ARSENAL.  We're getting chance after chance but no finish and then we give them that?!
15. Jesus....and now we lose Nani.....but we gain Scholsie......lets go Ginger Warrior
16. 78:52 Theo Wolcott attempting to stagger off the field straight up grabs a hold of the trainer's junk.  What an obliging fellow.  
17. 80:52 YES THAT WAS BRILLIANT.  VALENCIA = MAN OF THE MATCH.  He's just so jacked!  Also Andrey....go back to Russia and eat yourself some Borscht.
18. 83:28...Our Park is better....you know what I'm talking about.
19. Dang 91:10 Pugs McPlugsy just won a header over 6'6 Mertesacker....the power of the plugs is with you.
20. 94:57 WHAT WAS THAT?!  TRIPPING OVER YOUR OWN FEET?!?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TODAY MR. WELLBECK...WALK MUCH?!?!?
21. FULL TIME: Glory Glory Man Utd....should have been at least 3-1 but at least we finished all right.

Zut Alors I 'ave lost again!

And finally....I can't leave today without talking about the travesty that was the Tottenham vs. Man City game......really.....a penalty AT 94 min?!......REALLY  *sigh*  I know it was deserved but come on now Bald Avenger everyone says you are secretly a Man Utd fan and then you go and do that?  Not cool.  

Cheers everyone!

Its about time!

So I have been thinking about creating this blog for a LONG time.  I have been cheering on the Red Devils for several years now largely due to my Die-Hard Man Utd Beard-y Goalkeeper but with my own personal brand of awkwardness.  And my awkwardness is so profound we felt that I should share it with others.  So here begins The Awkward Manchester United Fan blog where I will discuss everything from my fondness for Sir Alex's gum chewing, to the troubled start of Neck-Beard D'Espagna, my undying love for BLEH (cue sinister Dracula-esque organ music), my tough love for Pugs McPlugsy, and the surprising yet pleasant emergence of Phil "Just The Tip" Jones.  You will also see here cameos by the bad ass and seriously jacked referee/cop Howard Webb aka "The Bald Avenger" (comic strip to follow), Mancini and his penchant for wearing goofy scarves, and in all likelihood "Hot Coach"AVB...because seriously everyone....how hot is he.  

I am by no means an orthodox fan, in fact I will probably be writing most of this while inebriated, and you may not agree with me on everything....or anything for that matter.  But everything here comes out of a deep, fierce love for each and every one of them.  Welcome!