Full-Time: United 2 - Ajax 0

By The Bearded Devil

Somewhat of a drab overall affair, with neither side seemingly willing to open up the throttle; but rather, content to remain on cruise control throughout. United stated their intentions quite clearly at the start of the second half, looking much more threatening and immediately cutting out several chances. Vermeer in the Ajax goal did well with several saves and had to be on his toes to deny Hernandez early on as he burst through the Ajax defense.

United’s pressure paid off when Ashley Young, recently returned from an injury layoff, stroked the ball into the net to make it 1-0. He was coolness personified as he received a deflected low cross from Nani, beat his defender and slotted the ball between the legs of Vermeer and past three Ajax defenders on the line to give United a deserved lead.

Having secured the goal, United were happy to sit back and absorb some pressure from the home side. However, Ajax, largely toothless in the attack rarely threatened De Gea’s goal and were forced to resort to taking pot shots from distance. The few times they did carve out a real opportunity, the chances were wasted either by poor decision-making or woeful finishing.

As they so often do, United scored on a lightning counter-attack, with Valencia muscling his way onto a poor touch from one of Ajex’s defenders before slipping the ball through to Hernandez who combined well with Rooney before slotting home United’s second on the night.

A good result for United as they bring a 2-0 lead back to Old Trafford without ever really having broken a sweat. 

The Bearded Devil: Time for a Half-Time Pie!

A tepid first half with both sides seemingly content to play relatively conservatively. Young and Nani showed a bit of rust as they both seemed a step off their usual pace. Overall, while United can be happy that it controlled the middle of the park, it lacked that incisive final ball and failed to create any real clear-cut opportunities.

On the defensive side, David De Gea continues to grow in confidence and pulled off a superb save from De Jong’s 30-yard piledriver. He still looks uncertain, however, in his decision making on high balls, and was caught several times relying on his defenders to clear balls he might have come out and claimed.

There is certainly room for improvement in the second half as United will look to turn their abundance of possession in midfield into scoring opportunities. Ajax has been playing with an invitingly high back line and will be vulnerable to quick through balls to onrushing attackers. Hernandez in particular thrives on playing off the shoulder of the last defender and was caught just a step offside several times in the first half. If he can get his timing right, United will punish Ajax.

Guest Post: The Bearded Devil: United Ready for Ajax

In their first foray into the Europa League, formerly the UEFA Cup, United face another storied side in European football, Ajax Amsterdam. Two of Europe’s most successful clubs, they have won a combined seven European Cups and have dominated their respective leagues. Most impressively, both sides have won the vaunted Treble, Ajax in 1972 and United more recently in 1999.

However, Ajax has not had much success in European football recently, with its last triumph coming in 1995. This year Ajax was bounced from the Champion’s League, only narrowly missing out on the knockout round due to goal difference. After regaining their league title last season Ajax currently sit in 6th place in the Dutch Eredivisie.

Sir Alex has said that he is not taking this competition lightly and will field his strongest side today. Indeed, this is the only trophy missing from his glittering resume and the players are eager to avenge their early exit from the Champion’s League.

Notable absentees are Giggs -who will have to wait to reach an astonishing 900 caps for United- and Berbatov, both players having picked up minor injuries this past week, and Evra who is being rested after an “emotional week” following the shameful Suarez handshake incident.

However, United have ready replacements as they welcome Jones, Smalling, Nani and Cleverly back from injury and draw from their pool of talented emerging youngsters.

Full Squad:
De Gea, Amos, Fryers, Rafael, Fabio, Jones, Evans, Ferdinand, Smalling, Young, Pogba,
Cleverly, Scholes, Carrick, Park, Valencia, Nani, Rooney, Welbeck, Hernandez.

Man Utd vs. Chelsea 2/5/2012

Well hello everybody and welcome to our Superbowl Sunday Game Day post!  So far we are just yelling at the pre game show.  I still don't understand why the hell Piers Morgan is allowed on the air period let alone allowed on fox soccer to discuss the premier league.  He ACTUALLY just made the assertion that our very own Neckbeard D'Espagna is the worst goal keeper in the league....based on what exactly.....he has had a few bad matches...as has every single goal keeper in the history in the sport but the WORST?!  And this coming from someone who can barely host a coherent interview on CNN.  The only reason he's there is because of his accent and that's just absurd and offensive to real football fans worldwide.

Wow...they just panned to Pugs McPlugsy...and he has a faux hawk?  To reference my previously posted video from Smithy.....SHORT BACK AND SIDES.  The Bearded Devil thinks that he is keeping to that because technically...the back and sides ARE short.  But come on Fergie those boy need to look clean and sharp.  We don't want any Torres' wandering around the field, headbands flying willy nilly.

And that brings me to HOT COACH.  Now I hate Chelsea.  I hate Chelsea SO MUCH.  But.....their coach is....well he's super hot.  I mean have you seen the man?

He's so put together, so chic.


And HOWARD WEBB IS ON THE FIELD.  The BALD AVENGER IS IN THE HOUSE and is making my whole day that much better and that much more shiny, and that more jacked.

6:45 Ummmm wow, that defensive move was pretty sketch.  When you are all in front of the goal keeping it in the air with headers Neckbeard should have grabbed that, it was a poor punch and I was a little afraid that we would give up a goal early

8:42 WOW Raul Meireles' hair is appalling I withdraw any complaint about Pugs McPlugsy

10:30 That tackle....Gary Cahill should have been sent off.  What the hell Bald Avenger, that was dicey and I'm a little....well frankly I'm a little upset I know its early in the match and he may not want to send someone off so early but he should have at least been given a yellow....and the camera on Fergie shows he is SUPREMELY pissed.  Oh Fergie, chaw away, chaw away your anger.

13:42 If I see one more Chelsea player go down grasping their various extremities and howling in pain I swear to god I'm sending lions on the field gladiator style to maul them.  I really TRULY hate when players do that, even when Man Utd players, its cheating, you slow down the game, and you lose your integrity as a player a little more every time you do it.

15:56 Damn, Valencia is FAST, that was impressive that he was able to get over to the middle to get his foot on the ball so fast.

22:31 Rafael looks SO HANDSOME with his hair cut.  I heartily approve.

30:30 Oh man poor Evans, just got a knee up the butt, he was only trying to protect his keeper, what a thing to get.  Not the most dignified shot though, him holding his rear end while writhing on the ground.

33:00 OH OFF THE FACE,  Evra just got a ball rocketed square in the jaw, that's got to sting a TON.  And while I feel awful for him, it DID give us a chance to get a close up of the Bald Avenger's GIGANTIC calves as he went over to see if he was ok.

Wow.....THAT'S HOW WE GIVE AWAY OUR FIRST GOAL.  That was embarrassing, deflected off of Evans arm.  I just.....god dammit.  Evra should never have let him get to the line in the first place.

36:40 Great save by Neckbeard, this is getting dicey though, I'm not a fan and I'm not pleased with our overall performance so far

38:09 God DAMMIT that was a beautiful cross over, Rooney could have just TAPPED THAT IN.  WE HAVE TO MAKE THE MOST OF THESE CHANCES

40:00 Welbeck has a GREAT shot, and Cech had a fabulous save.  Can't begrudge the guy who had a skull fracture.

Half Time: Time for a short commercial break and then its onto the Half Time Pie Round Up!  Hosted by The Bearded Devil:

Not a terrible half of football from United, however they have been somewhat wasteful in possession, particularly in the final third of the field. Carved out a few good chances and have been unlucky not to pull even before the break.


Speaking of luck, Gary Cahill can thank his lucky stars to still be on the pitch. Howard Webb missed one there, but in his defense, from his angle, it was a tough call. And no referee wants to send a player off 10 minutes into a game, particularly a game of this magnitude. Be that as it may, Cahill should have been sent to an early bath.


After a shaky initial start, De Gea has looked much more calm in goal, and cannot be faulted for the goal. Johnny Evans was unlucky as well. Evra should have done a better job cutting Sturridge off from reaching the touchline, especially as he had Carrick offering him immediate support. Other than that one half chance, which resulted in a bizarre own goal, Chelsea has offered very little going forward.


I'm sure Fergie is giving the lads one of his famous half-time talks and United will kick on after the break.


And thank the good lord, there is a Law and Order marathon on...so we don't have listen to Piers wax idiotic about the game.  


And we're back!

And....I'm already angry.  I am TRULY TRULY ANGRY

This is NOT THE WAY TO START THE SECOND HALF MOTHER OF GOD

I didn't want to have a stroke this early in the day, I truly didn't but it may happen.

Wow....I never thought I'd say this....but I might turn this off soon I am furious.  Absolutely furious...what are we doing, ANOTHER OWN GOAL this is an embarrassment.

PENALTYYYY Oh Wayne Rooney I forgive you all your indiscretions, hair and otherwise.  That was beautiful.  Now can we PLEASE DO SOMETHING HERE?!

I'm pleading here......THIS is me right now, do you WANT THIS TO BE ME?  Don't you love me boys?

And the Ginger Warrior comes storming on the Field, lets liven up the middle Mr. Scholes!

65:25 That shot never should have happened, I'm serious where did that space open up, thank god De Gea actually got his hands around that one

65:55 That shot could have been lovely....just a bit off, nice try Pugs but lets get it on goal next time we don't have time to waste right now

66:53 F ME a little lift on that and it would have been over him......*sigh* more chances please!

68:11 It was a soft penalty but from Webb's angle which they showed in the replay it didn't look like he tripped, it looked like he stuck his leg back to get him....from any other angle it wouldn't have been called but I won't complain...not after the Cahill debacle earlier

OH MY GOD CHICHATRITO.......YOU ARE SUCH A GOD DAMN STUD

OK 4 MINUTES....PLEASE PLEASE DON'T SCREW THIS UP

OMG NECKBEARD D'ESPAGNA YOU ARE A STUD, PIERS MORGAN THIS OFFICIALLY STARTS OUR BLOOD FEUD YOU CAN SUCK IT THAT WAS A STUNNING SAVE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE FOUND HIS POTATAS BRAVAS

And again, Neckbeard, gorgeous.....wow what a match I will take a draw after that horrible, horrible start......

Neckbeard and Pugs, the two men of the match for sure.  Lovely everyone just lovely....

Well, I have had my share of strokes for the day, thank goodness I don't care who wins the Superbowl tonight ;-)  Enjoy your pizza, nachos and beer everyone!  Till next time!