So today I come home from work (best walk home ever, in the 80s in March....happy days) to the Bearded Devil and he is, as usual, looking at The Sun's football page. He gave me a grim look and turned the computer in my direction and I saw what I have been fearing for some time now
......Bleh.....could be leaving Man Utd....I frankly don't know what I'll do, I have been rooting for him for so long....he really did so well last season and I thought he'd be pulled back up in to the starting line up. And honestly I'm really, truly pleased that their bench is so deep that the top scorer last season is sitting out game after game, it says a lot about the team Sir Alex has built and I'm excited about where the boys could go in both the Premier and Champions League. And I think Bleh has a lot to offer and I hope if he does leave he is able to go somewhere where they can really use his skill. But it just....it just won't be the same without Bleh.
Today I am posting the first in a series called Player Profiles. In this series I will discuss my affection for particular players (although if you are a Man Utd player...don't worry I don't have ANY favorites, I love you all equally) (for everyone else....I'm lying I totally have favorites) and the reasoning behind many of their nicknames.
I am starting with Dimitar Berbatov or as I like to call him BLEEHH!
So lets start by saying that I am Dimitar Berbatov's NUMBER ONE FAN.
I know what you are thinking..."But Gingers for Scholes he isn't the most dynamic player on the field, he doesn't seem to have the greatest attitude, he seems mopey to me, why don't you cheer for someone more exciting and bubbly like Chicharito?"
OK
1.) He is the first non-Englishman to score 5 goals in one game in the Premier League...that's bad ass
2.) He was the top scorer in the Premier League last season...I mean SERIOUSLY that is SO BAD ASS
3.) Maybe the reason he seems mopey and not very excited is because HE NEEDS A NUMBER ONE FAN. I am simply providing him with the necessary tools to be a happier player.
4.) He kind of looks like Dracula...
Bleehh!!! I vooonnn to suuuuck youur blloooooddd!!!
Bleeehhh!!!
Now I have to say these days with the new hair cut, the scruff and the lack of a head band (dear God thank you for helping Bleh realize that that was a bad look) he's looking much more clean cut, less vampiric but still the idea is there. I can hear you again, "Ginger (It's ok we know each other well enough now to call me by my first name) but why would you think that its a good thing that he looks like Dracula?" Well everyone, because he is UPPING HIS PROFILE. And anyone who has seen this:
will know that upping your profile is a HUGE DEAL.
I want to see him (well we have to get him off the bench first! Fergie, I hope you are reading this part!) with a cape every time he scores so he can do a victory lap with the cape over his eyes and then in the stadium they will play..
as the in stadium announcer will say "VON, VONNN GOAL - AH, HA, HA," a la the Count. I can see it now, all the players in the stands with their Man Utd jerseys on with their fake vampire teeth and their capes shouting BLLEEEHHH as he runs onto the pitch before the match.
I'm just saying.....its all gold....Berbatov....call me we can make this happen!
That's all for today, tomorrow the boys play Stoke City at 3:00PM. I have to be at work so if he is available and willing you may get a guest Game Day post from my Die-Hard Man Utd Beard-y Goalkeeper! And if you are watching and Berbatov hits the field, make sure to cheer for Bleh!
